I see the wide green horizon and I see no obstacle until where my eyes can reach.
I hear the birds chuckling and feel the breeze which I will take in my arms and take with me forever.
I hear the flow of water that is so tranquil that I can see that tiniest blue stone trough it.
I look in the little kid’s eyes that show me for what I am worth and I can’t help the smile.
I Am Recharged.
And I am Back, to myself.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Saying "NO"
My friend sitting on the side wall of the balcony of our apartment, looking at the road that used to be pretty busy with the students walking by, their bikes and few cars. I, sitting on a chair facing towards the same road, so engrossed in the topic we had started - the 'good' inside of us that was always proven to be 'not so good' to ourselves.
That makes us chose being kind over being right.
That stops us from saying NO when we must say it.
And it tries to stop us every single time which completely screws up the balance between thinking of others and thinking of ourselves.
This thought stuck into our head and we decided "We have to learn saying NO".
Very determined we, left from the apartment to pick up our food on my bike(my scooty).
We took the very first turn at the end of the road and BANG!!! some other bike hit us(or did I hit it?) and we had a nasty flop.
And there was this very charming guy passing by , came running "Do you need help girls?".
Now let's admit it, we definitely wanted.
but me, I looked at the guy with my red eyes wide open and said "NO"!!
Right after that, I had a 2 seconds pause thinking, "Crap! what the hell did I just do?".
Lifting my bike up, I couldn't wipe that regretting face off of me.
My friend, helping me getting the bike upright, looked at me. The hopeless look on both of our faces which would mean "yeah.. wrong situation, wrong person, in fact wrong NO".
As much as I find it funny, I can't describe in words how I hated my "NO" that day.
That makes us chose being kind over being right.
That stops us from saying NO when we must say it.
And it tries to stop us every single time which completely screws up the balance between thinking of others and thinking of ourselves.
This thought stuck into our head and we decided "We have to learn saying NO".
Very determined we, left from the apartment to pick up our food on my bike(my scooty).
We took the very first turn at the end of the road and BANG!!! some other bike hit us(or did I hit it?) and we had a nasty flop.
And there was this very charming guy passing by , came running "Do you need help girls?".
Now let's admit it, we definitely wanted.
but me, I looked at the guy with my red eyes wide open and said "NO"!!
Right after that, I had a 2 seconds pause thinking, "Crap! what the hell did I just do?".
Lifting my bike up, I couldn't wipe that regretting face off of me.
My friend, helping me getting the bike upright, looked at me. The hopeless look on both of our faces which would mean "yeah.. wrong situation, wrong person, in fact wrong NO".
As much as I find it funny, I can't describe in words how I hated my "NO" that day.
Monday, March 1, 2010
puzzled up

I heard you saying "yes I am here", When you looked isolated in all that you think.
Your eyes looked aching from all the sun you had it in.
I felt the whole world still for I saw on your face, all the miles you walked.
That extreme urge and the need of me to be there for you, wouldn't let me give up.
but in my mind, as I watched you going away, I failed to comfort myself to some extent.
And the words that whispered in my ears “I will be fine”, suddently made me feel how short I was to reach out to your pain.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Keep your chin up, Like a nosebleed.

Pride, it is the first of the seven deadly sins my kid,
But mother, that is what completes your girl.
It makes her regard herself to be positive.
She does not need to hear from others for she is secure.
From the world's hands which tries to tear her apart,
She has stolen the proud face that turns pain to grace.
Self aware of not being overpowered by the power of pride.
She sees herself ready to fight for what you fear she might have to.
Let her be proud and loud,
Mom, You might find that your girl is stronger!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The "Not very unusual" !

You woke up in the morning trying to remember the nightmare you had in the night,
While making your bed, thinking, Did I leave that crease at the corner?
You walked down stairs thinking, Did I miss that last step?
You talked to the Lady at work thinking , Did I not smile at her?
Walking away from your car in the parking lot, Did I really lock my car?
Asking yourself, was there something off about the day? What was it?
And you answered 'Nah.. nothing' thinking, Did I actually ask?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Yellow Smile

It was supposed to be a cold and dead winter.
It all began with the cold wind howling all aloud.
And lead to the snow storm few days later.
It occurred to a man who saw his driveway all covered with the snow that he had to shovel, to a woman who almost skipped her heartbeat when her car skidded at the stop sign and to a kid who heard his grandparents coughing since he woke up in the morning that the OLD MAN WINTER is back and he is here to stay for a while.
I, that morning, grabbed my very first dose of caffeine. Looking out the window, all I saw was white , city hidden under the snow, and I feared what was it going to be, Having the first sip of my tea and shaking the fear away, I felt I was ready to face what I feared.
Few days later, the snow that did not melt yet and icicles hanging by the wall, started feeling so familiar, like they had been there for months. I adapted.
I was out. Walking on the walkway heading towards my car. Few more steps and I was there in seconds if I hadn’t seen them. Those amazingly beautiful and surprisingly delicate yellow flowers on that little plant, in snow! I had to stop. looking at them, I was more shocked then surprised! Told myself it’s an illusion. You need a good night sleep .You will be OK tomorrow. It is just in your head.
The next day I turned my head and they were still there. I looked at them again and one of the flowers smiled at me. The huge dilemma I was in, I couldn’t bear the smile. To accept their existence or not? I walked away.
Why am I so confused, isn’t it what I love? Or was it completely impossible and too beautiful to be real?
Later I found that those are the rare kind I had never known, sure they are delicate for your touch but they are not fragile for winter winds they stand the cold and still are the most beautiful facts on earth. So there they were, adding the splash of life to the dead white.
Now every day I pass by, all of those little yellow flowers turn their little faces towards me and smile. I love my life.
Yes, it was supposed to be a cold and dead winter…
It’s not anymore.
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